Baffling, cunning and confusing addictive thinking ruins lives.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Case Study in Alcohol Abuse

My thoughts:

My childhood friends have a 90 year old mother who Jane has been doing house keeping for, driving to appointments and generally helping for a fee.

Jane refuses to stop abusing alcohol and herself in the process of being drunk and disorderly. Or her neurological condition is such that she is totally out of control around alcohol. AA would call it "Powerless Over Alcohol".

I can't cure her addiction, I did not cause it and I cannot control it. But I can't help feeling responsible and guilty when she screws up. Mrs. W has given her personal recommendations to other potential employers and goes out of her way to help Jane.

Jane seems to have helped herself to the woman's alcohol cabinet and her purse. This is really shocking behavior to me. She has done many stupid things over the years but this is a new low.

I am at my wits end.

This is a note to myself because I am too ashamed to share this disgusting story with anyone .

Bottom Line is, Jane needs help and to be in a safe environment and concentrate on recovering from longterm alcohol abuse. She needs some intensive time with a psychiatrist.

Maybe ask for weekly appointments with her psychiatrist and re-apply to live at a treatment house.

Joe letter:

Jack: Jane showed up to cleans moms condo on Monday. I think mom dozed off and Jane got into

3/4 bottle Sherry and got really bombed. So bombed in fact, mom had to drive her home. Also, while

Jane was putting on her boots mom spotted at 50 dollar bill stuck in her sock. Jane replied :

I'm a thief too! She had gone into moms drawer and taken the $50.00. Needless to say, her weekly

cleaning job which paid $220.00 per month cash is no longer available. Knowing Jane's past history I

wasn't surprised. We gave her a chance and she blew it. It was just a matter of time. So maybe its

time she starting going to AA again. Cheers, Joe.

My letter to Joe:

show details 5:18 AM (0 minutes ago)

I am Thunderstruck by what is a new low for Jennifer. She never intercepted your letter because she is

unable to remember anything about the event. BLACKOUT!!! classic alcoholic symptom.

I'd apologize for her but it is up to her.

She insists on burning bridges and turning people against her. It is way beyond my capacity to

understand. Maybe its some kind of self-hatred or self-flagellation???

She is making me crazy with her behavior and I spend too much time worrying about her. And trying to

keep her away from Vodka. The fact is, it is impossible to control another person's behavior. I don't

feel I have any influence over her and the more I try to help her the worse it gets.

I have asked her to go back to a treatment house for a few months so I can preserve my sanity. She seems

to be able to stay sober under supervision.

She sees a psychiatrist. They will have plenty to talk about. He put her on anti-abuse which can

be stopped when the alcoholic wants to get drunk so is useless.

She has been waiting more than 2 years to get some help. Her best bet is a long stay under supervision in an alcoholic treatment center.

For 5 years 4 months, I have not touched alcohol, smoked pot or any other recreational drug to show her

how to live without alcohol. It is possible but you must make a decision to quit whether by AA, RR,

finding Religion or whatever works for you.

P.S. I only looked at the e-mail after your FB note. It was a page back in my mail so not visible. I am

sorry about her behavior but my contrition has no affect on her alcoholism.

Her friend Larry the Lawyer expired from alcoholism - heart stopped. Sue C died drunk driving.

Everyday people either die or ruin their lives completely by alcohol abuse. Alcoholics don't seem to

make the connection between that first drink and the trouble to come as a result.