Temptation

Temptation
Baffling, cunning and confusing addictive thinking ruins lives.

Monday, April 25, 2016

Hope: Emily Dickinson




Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Pornography


‘You cannot accept any pornography in your man’s life’: 

Terry Crews reveals his fight with porn addiction


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In a series of video confessions that could one day become educational tools, former NFL player and Brooklyn Nine-Nine star Terry Crews has taken it upon himself to reveal his “dirty little secret” — a porn addiction.

Crews actually first revealed his addiction two years ago in his memoir, titled Manhood. And in an interview with Wendy Williams to promote the book, he admitted, “I was addicted to pornography since I was 12 years old. My father was addicted to alcohol and my mother was addicted to religion. So what happens is you had an addictive household.” He then claimed that it was his addiction that led him to eventually cheat on his wife.
My wife was literally like, ‘I don’t know you any more. I’m outta here’
“It messed up my life in a lot of ways,” he said of pornography, which he labeled “a worldwide problem.” “My wife was literally like, ‘I don’t know you any more. I’m outta here.’”

After entering rehab six years ago, Crews changed his ways and now firmly believes porn “changes the way you think about people. People become objects. People become body parts. People become things to be used rather than people to be loved.”

In a follow-up video after fans congratulated him on fighting his addiction and asked how he did it, Crews offered his thoughts on overcoming shame and added, to all the women out there, “You need to confront your man about this problem. You cannot accept any pornography in your man’s life. And I’m calling on men to be more accountable.” He went on to comment on his “sense of entitlement” and how, at the time, he felt his wife “owed” him sex.
You need to confront your man about this problem. You cannot accept any pornography in your man’s life
But as admirable and insightful as Crews’ thoughts are, it’s worth noting that the actor also meant to share his personal experiences as a “servant to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ,” while touching on masculine pride and porn being “an intimacy killer.”





 Link: http://news.nationalpost.com/arts/celebrity/you-cannot-accept-any-pornography-in-your-mans-life-terry-crews-reveals-his-fight-with-porn-addiction



Despite his reveal being layered with his own moral views, Crews is helping to put the message out there that addiction doesn’t have to be such a secret in your fight to conquer it.



Cigarettes are the most insidious addiction

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/08/14/18/2B5E73F400000578-3198373-image-m-5_1439571791038.jpg


 Insidious Addiction 


Transcending addiction and redefining recovery: Jacki Hillios



Published on Oct 30, 2013
 
Why
are some able to transcend their addiction while others are not? 
 
What
do people really need to escape the shame of their addiction and achieve
sustained recovery?
 
Jacki's talk focuses on answering these questions
and demonstrates how resilience of the human spirit intersects with
social contextual factors to set the stage for those struggling with
addiction to choose a pathway to health

Saturday, December 26, 2015

Richard Pryor: Sem Lógica / Richard Pryor: Omit the Logic LEGENDADO PT




Published on Oct 6, 2014
Se
Lenny Bruce é considerado um dos maiores comediantes stand up da
história por quebrar barreiras ao falar sobre assuntos controversos numa
época em que ninguém mais falava, Richard Pryor pegou essas barreiras e
mandou todas elas chuparem o seu pau.
Este documentário apresenta a
vida do comediante americano Richard Pryor (1940-2005), reconhecido como
um dos comediantes mais influentes do final do século XX. Participação
de familiares e personalidades como Whoopi Goldberg e Quincy Jones.


Link: https://youtu.be/qw3WpoarHgA



 http://www.ec.gc.ca/aobc-cabb/?lang=En&nav=bird_oiseaux&aou=493

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Sobriety as a concrete goal with help from Earl Nightingale



 This is a transcript...

The Strangest Secret

 

Transcribed from The Strangest Secret audio program by Earl Nightingale


Some years ago, the late Nobel prize-winning Dr. Albert Schweitzer was asked by a reporter, “Doctor, what’s wrong with men today?” The great doctor was silent a moment, and then he said, “Men simply don’t think!”

It’s about this that I want to talk with you. We live today in a golden age. This is an era that humanity has looked forward to, dreamed of, and worked toward for thousands of years. We live in the richest era that ever existed on the face of the earth … a land of abundant opportunity for everyone.

However, if you take 100 individuals who start even at the age of 25, do you have any idea what will happen to those men and women by the time they’re 65? These 100 people believe they’re going to be successful. They are eager toward life, there is a certain sparkle in their eye, an erectness to their carriage, and life seems like a pretty interesting adventure to them.

But by the time they’re 65, only one will be rich, four will be financially independent, five will still be working, and 54 will be broke and depending on others for life’s necessities.

Only five out of 100 make the grade! Why do so many fail? What has happened to the sparkle that was there when they were 25? What has become of the dreams, the hopes, the plans … and why is there such a large disparity between what these people intended to do and what they actually accomplished?

THE DEFINITION OF SUCCESS

First, we have to define success and here is the best definition I’ve ever been able to find:

“Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.”

A success is the school teacher who is teaching because that’s what he or she wants to do. A success is the entrepreneur who start his own company because that was his dream and that’s what he wanted to do. A success is the salesperson who wants to become the best salesperson in his or her company and sets forth on the pursuit of that goal.

A success is anyone who is realizing a worthy predetermined ideal, because that’s what he or she decided to do … deliberately. But only one out of 20 does that! The rest are “failures.”

Rollo May, the distinguished psychiatrist, wrote a wonderful book called Man’s Search for Himself, and in this book he says: “The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice … it is conformity.” And there you have the reason for so many failures. Conformity and people acting like everyone else, without knowing why or where they are going.

We learn to read by the time we’re seven. We learn to make a living by the time we’re 30. Often by that time we’re not only making a living, we’re supporting a family. And yet by the time we’re 65, we haven’t learned how to become financially independent in the richest land that has ever been known. Why? We conform! Most of us are acting like the wrong percentage group and the 95 who don’t succeed.

GOALS

Have you ever wondered why so many people work so hard and honestly without ever achieving anything in particular, and why others don’t seem to work hard, yet seem to get everything? They seem to have the “magic touch.” You’ve heard people say, “Everything he touches turns to gold.” Have you ever noticed that a person who becomes successful tends to continue to become more successful? And, on the other hand, have you noticed how someone who’s a failure tends to continue to fail?

The difference is goals. 

People with goals succeed because they know where they’re going. It’s that simple. 

Failures, on the other hand, believe that their lives are shaped by circumstances … by things that happen to them … by exterior forces.
Think of a ship with the complete voyage mapped out and planned. The captain and crew know exactly where the ship is going and how long it will take and it has a definite goal. And 9,999 times out of 10,000, it will get there.

Now let’s take another ship and just like the first and only let’s not put a crew on it, or a captain at the helm. Let’s give it no aiming point, no goal, and no destination. We just start the engines and let it go. I think you’ll agree that if it gets out of the harbor at all, it will either sink or wind up on some deserted beach and a derelict. It can’t go anyplace because it has no destination and no guidance.

It’s the same with a human being. However, the human race is fixed, not to prevent the strong from winning, but to prevent the weak from losing. Society today can be likened to a convoy in time of war. The entire society is slowed down to protect its weakest link, just as the naval convoy has to go at the speed that will permit its slowest vessel to remain in formation.

That’s why it’s so easy to make a living today. It takes no particular brains or talent to make a living and support a family today. We have a plateau of so-called “security.” So, to succeed, all we must do is decide how high above this plateau we want to aim.

Throughout history, the great wise men and teachers, philosophers, and prophets have disagreed with one another on many different things. It is only on this one point that they are in complete and unanimous agreement and the key to success and the key to failure is this:

WE BECOME WHAT WE THINK ABOUT

This is The Strangest Secret! Now, why do I say it’s strange, and why do I call it a secret? Actually, it isn’t a secret at all. It was first promulgated by some of the earliest wise men, and it appears again and again throughout the Bible. But very few people have learned it or understand it. That’s why it’s strange, and why for some equally strange reason it virtually remains a secret.

Marcus Aurelius, the great Roman Emperor, said: “A man’s life is what his thoughts make of it.”

Disraeli said this: “Everything comes if a man will only wait … a human being with a settled purpose must accomplish it, and nothing can resist a will that will stake even existence for its fulfillment.”

William James said: “We need only in cold blood act as if the thing in question were real, and it will become infallibly real by growing into such a connection with our life that it will become real. It will become so knit with habit and emotion that our interests in it will be those which characterize belief.” 

He continues, ” … only you must, then, really wish these things, and wish them exclusively, and not wish at the same time a hundred other incompatible things just as strongly.”

My old friend Dr. Norman Vincent Peale put it this way: “If you think in negative terms, you will get negative results. If you think in positive terms, you will achieve positive results.” 

George Bernard Shaw said: “People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.”

Well, it’s pretty apparent, isn’t it?   We become what we think about. 

A person who is thinking about a concrete and worthwhile goal is going to reach it, because that’s what he’s thinking about. 

Conversely, the person who has no goal, who doesn’t know where he’s going, and whose thoughts must therefore be thoughts of confusion, anxiety, fear, and worry will thereby create a life of frustration, fear, anxiety and worry. And if he thinks about nothing … he becomes nothing.


AS YE SOW, SO SHALL YE REAP

The human mind is much like a farmer’s land. The land gives the farmer a choice. He may plant in that land whatever he chooses. The land doesn’t care what is planted. It’s up to the farmer to make the decision. 

The mind, like the land, will return what you plant, but it doesn’t care what you plant. If the farmer plants too seeds and one a seed of corn, the other nightshade, a deadly poison, waters and takes care of the land, what will happen?

Remember, the land doesn’t care. It will return poison in just as wonderful abundance as it will corn. So up come the two plants and one corn, one poison as it’s written in the Bible, “As ye sow, so shall ye reap.”

The human mind is far more fertile, far more incredible and mysterious than the land, but it works the same way. It doesn’t care what we plant … success … or failure. A concrete, worthwhile goal … or confusion, misunderstanding, fear, anxiety, and so on. But what we plant it must return to us.


The problem is that our mind comes as standard equipment at birth. It’s free. And things that are given to us for nothing, we place little value on. Things that we pay money for, we value.

The paradox is that exactly the reverse is true. 

Everything that’s really worthwhile in life came to us free and our minds, our souls, our bodies, our hopes, our dreams, our ambitions, our intelligence, our love of family and children and friends and country. All these priceless possessions are free.

But the things that cost us money are actually very cheap and can be replaced at any time. A good man can be completely wiped out and make another fortune. He can do that several times. Even if our home burns down, we can rebuild it. But the things we got for nothing, we can never replace.

Our mind can do any kind of job we assign to it, but generally speaking, we use it for little jobs instead of big ones. 


So decide now. What is it you want? Plant your goal in your mind. It’s the most important decision you’ll ever make in your entire life.

Do you want to excel at your particular job? Do you want to go places in your company … in your community? Do you want to get rich?

All you have got to do is plant that seed in your mind, care for it, work steadily toward your goal, and it will become a reality.

It not only will, there’s no way that it cannot. You see, that’s a law and like the laws of Sir Isaac Newton, the laws of gravity. If you get on top of a building and jump off, you’ll always go down and you’ll never go up.

And it’s the same with all the other laws of nature. They always work. They’re inflexible. 

Think about your goal in a relaxed, positive way. 

Picture yourself in your mind’s eye as having already achieved this goal. 

See yourself doing the things you will be doing when you have reached your goal.

Every one of us is the sum total of our own thoughts. 

We are where we are because that’s exactly where we really want or feel we deserve to be and whether we’ll admit that or not. 

Each of us must live off the fruit of our thoughts in the future, because what you think today and tomorrow and next month and next year and will mold your life and determine your future. You’re guided by your mind.

I remember one time I was driving through e a s t e r n Arizona and I saw one of those giant earth-moving machines roaring along the road with what looked like 30 tons of dirt in it and a tremendous, incredible machine and and there was a little man perched way up on top with the wheel in his hands, guiding it.

As I drove along I was struck by the similarity of that machine to the human mind. 

Just suppose you’re sitting at the controls of such a vast source of energy. 

Are you going to sit back and fold your arms and let it run itself into a ditch?

Or are you going to keep both hands firmly on the wheel and control and direct this power to a specific, worthwhile purpose? 

It’s up to you. You’re in the driver’s seat. 

You see, the very law that gives us success is a double-edged sword. 

We must control our thinking. 

The same rule that can lead people to lives of success, wealth, happiness, and all the things they ever dreamed of and that very same law can lead them into the gutter. 

It’s all in how they use it … for good or for bad. 

That is The Strangest Secret!

Do what the experts since the dawn of recorded history have told us to do:

pay the price, by becoming the person you want to become. 

It’s not nearly as difficult as living unsuccessfully.

The moment you decide on a goal to work toward, you’re immediately a successful person 
and you are then in that rare group of people who know where they’re going. 

Out of every hundred people, you belong to the top five. 

Don’t concern yourself too much with how you are going to achieve your goal.

 Leave that completely to a power greater than yourself. 

All you have to do is know where you’re going. The answers will come to you of their own accord, and at the right time.

Start today. You have nothing to lose and but you have your whole life to win.



30-DAY ACTION IDEAS FOR PUTTING THE STRANGEST SECRET TO WORK FOR YOU:

For the next 30-days follow each of these steps every day until you have achieved your goal.

1. Write on a card what it is you want more that anything else
. It may be more money. Perhaps you’d like to double your income or make a specific amount of money. It may be a beautiful home. It may be success at your job. It may be a particular position in life. It could be a more harmonious family.

Write down on your card specifically what it is you want. Make sure it’s a single goal and clearly defined. 
You needn’t show it to anyone, but carry it with you so that you can look at it several times a day. 

Think about it in a cheerful, relaxed, positive way each morning when you get up, and immediately you have something to work for and something to get out of bed for, something to live for.

Look at it every chance you get during the day and just before going to bed at night. 


As you look at it, remember that you must become what you think about, and since you’re thinking about your goal, you realize that soon it will be yours. In fact, it’s really yours the moment you write it down and begin to think about it.

2. Stop thinking about what it is you fear. 

Each time a fearful or negative thought comes into your mind, replace it with a mental picture of your positive and worthwhile goal. 

And there will come a time when you’ll feel like giving up. It’s easier for a human being to think negatively than positively. That’s why only five percent are successful! You must begin now to place yourself in that group.

“Act as though it were impossible to fail,” as Dorothea Brande said. No matter what your goal, if you’ve kept your goal before you every day, you’ll wonder and marvel at this new life you’ve found.


3. Your success will always be measured by the quality and quantity of service you render. 

Most people will tell you that they want to make money, without understanding this law. The only people who make money work in a mint. The rest of us must earn money. This is what causes those who keep looking for something for nothing, or a free ride, to fail in life. 

Success is not the result of making money; earning money is the result of success and and success is in direct proportion to our service.

Most people have this law backwards. It’s like the man who stands in front of the stove and says to it: “Give me heat and then I’ll add the wood.” 

How many men and women do you know, or do you suppose there are today, who take the same attitude toward life? There are millions.

We’ve got to put the fuel in before we can expect heat. 


Likewise, we’ve got to be of service first before we can expect money

Don’t concern yourself with the money. Be of service … build … work … dream … create! Do this and you’ll find there is no limit to the prosperity and abundance that will come to you.

Don’t start your test until you’ve made up your mind to stick with it. If you should fail during your first 30 days and by that I mean suddenly find yourself overwhelmed by negative thoughts and simply start over again from that point and go 30 more days.

Gradually, your new habit will form, until you find yourself one of that wonderful minority to whom virtually nothing is impossible.

Above all … don’t worry! Worry brings fear, and fear is crippling. 


The only thing that can cause you to worry during your test is trying to do it all yourself

Know that all you have to do is hold your goal before you; everything else will take care of itself.

Take this 30-day test, then repeat it … then repeat it again. Each time it will become more a part of you until you’ll wonder how you could have ever have lived any other way.

Live this new way and the floodgates of abundance will open and pour over you more riches than you may have dreamed existed. Money? Yes, lots of it. 

But what’s more important, you’ll have peace … you’ll be in that wonderful minority who lead calm, cheerful, successful lives.



Learn more about Earl Nightingale and his many timeless books and audio programs.
The Strangest Secret
The Strangest Secret Article by: Earl Nightingale


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Learn more about Earl Nightingale and his many timeless books and audio programs.

The Strangest Secret - Advantedge Article By Earl Nightingale

LINK:  http://www.nightingale.com/ae_article~i~22~article~strangestsecret.aspx


The Strangest Secret Earl Nightingale Conant 1950's Origional FULL 31:35 Min.
31:35 - 4 years ago
Earl Nightingale Conant The Strangest Secret 1956 1950's

Sunday, July 19, 2015

What We Can’t Change


The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology or the president.  You realize that you control your own destiny.

-- Albert Ellis, grandfather of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy


The Importance of Letting Go of What We Can’t Change


By Therese Borchard
Published Oct 22, 2014

I met with a new doctor yesterday. I’ve been interviewing them like babysitters lately.
He passed my test. More or less.  I don’t want to get my hopes up and start believing that doctors have magical powers...

He is a holistic MD with a license in internal medicine, which means he will prescribe for me the Nature-Thyroid medicine that makes me think more clearly and gives me more energy, but that conventional doctors dismiss as mashed-up animal parts that have no data supporting success.

“The Way of Serenity,” is a book about the serenity prayer.

“I need a little help with the first part,” I admit. “Accepting the things I cannot change. I’m much better with the second part — changing the things I can.”

I’m continually working the second leg of the Serenity Prayer. However, acceptance of things we cannot change is difficult,

My first reaction when something proves to be out of my control is to try harder, to force whatever is derailing my health or my agenda to cooperate through more discipline, better habits, a better policy.

As Jonathan Morris writes in “The Way of Serenity,”
“Letting go of things that really do need fixing can feel like injustice, irresponsibility, or indifference on our part.” 

I tug and tug and tug, like the passage from “Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: Second Edition” by Steven C. Hayes, Kirk D. Strosahl, and Kelly G. Wilson:

Imagine that the situation you are in is like being in a tug-of-war with a monster.

It is big, ugly, and very strong so you cannot win.

The hardest thing to see is that our job here is not to win the tug-of-war

Our job is to drop the rope.

 I had to let go of control, accept the things I cannot change, like how doctors do their job. 

The way he practices medicine is out of my control.

Posted in: Emotional Health

Source: http://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/therese-borchard-sanity-break/importance-letting-go-what-we-cant-change/?xid=tw_everydayhealth_sf

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Therese J. Borchard is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression and Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Guide. 
She is Associate Editor at Psych Central, where she contributes to the award-winning blog, World of Psychology. 
She also writes for other media outlets such as The Huffington Post and PBS/This Emotional Life. 
For seven years, Therese penned the popular blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet.com and moderated an 
online depression support group of over 2,000 people.

Link: https://twitter.com/thereseborchard

The Importance of Letting Go of What We Can't Change
http://trib.al/VcU7YJe

Link: https://twitter.com/EverydayHealth/status/548629603380899840



Chet Baker The Final Days

Published on Dec 13, 2013
Very rare video and Much better treatment of Chet Baker as far as his trumpet playing and innate and natural talent than was Let's Get Lost. Produced for Television in the Netherlands in the early 90's it is the best look at the life career and the Final Days of Chet Baker.